The Beauty of Reality

Reality is I am sitting on my couch, sipping Bailey’s, watching Friends after a long day at work. Beautiful is it not?

But, I can’t just sit there even though this is what I have wanted to do since I woke up.  Not necessarily drinking...but the relaxing part.

So in my uneasiness, I was distracted by the joy my friend Ryan brings me. At the time he was reading a book about the divine providence and sent a powerful text message about how grace abounds in his life.  Amazed and in awe by what he is saying, like I usually am, I start thinking about how I miss him.   Fighting reality, I am back in a gymnasium my sophomore year of college making a complete fool out of myself with him by myside. I kept thinking back to the good old college days, that only ended less than 3 months ago. 

But, that’s not reality.

Literally two seconds after his text about grace I get an email about grace. The subject line makes me think it is my daily motivational quote or scripture passage:  “You are half way through grace.” As a naive young adult who knows nothing about the real world, I was surprised to open the email and see that I am half way through grace period and have to start paying back student loans in 3 months… Thanks for the grace, God.

Again, fighting reality I start to day dream what it is going to be like to be a not so naïve adult. My grown up life officially starts in a few weeks when my job begins and so don’t the bills. But, that is not reality either.

Do you see how much a young women’s mind wonders in a few moments time?  That is not to mention the to do list, the boys, the list of friends I miss, and the ideas of future decorations for the new house that are all in the back of my brain.

Moments happen so often… every second, actually. You know, those seconds that are constantly occurring in life? The ones that are right in front of you- the reality before your eyes.  Maybe like me, you are thinking about the past or dreaming about the future in those moments but, that is not reality. Reality is what you have.  Sometimes it is exactly what you want and other times we wish it was something else.  Me? I often fight it but, I long to live like a child or saint in the immediacy of the here and now because God does not exist in fake reality. Yes, of course there is the promise of Him being in the future but not in a nonexistent cloud of fake reality.  Reality has no distortion. It is raw. It is beautiful. 

So when I lie to myself- when we lie to ourselves, we are saying no to that goodness. When I fight time, I am getting nowhere. I am just getting more tired. 

The easy answer to stop doing this: surrender. Say yes to His will. Yeah I’m still figuring out how to tangibly do that every day, too. But what I am learning and what is getting easier to understand is that the reality that I am fighting has its beauty, too. I'm starting to realize maybe it is not about fixing and solving but, it may be about experiencing reality. 

Reality can be harsh. But in reality lies the truth, therefore, it is always beautiful.

 

Joy Remembered and Sought

The past two years working in ministry, there has been one question that often comes up. How can I be a strong enough presence in other peoples life's that they cannot help but question where my joy comes from? 

 

I guess you can say I heard this question in many different forms in my life. But it never really struck me until my good friend, Rylee, brought it up last year. Ever since then, it was mentioned occasionally when conversing with friends and it very often a question I like to ask people who I think may have an interesting answer. This question has also been in my prayer life on and off. Joy- the definition, what it is, and what it can do in people's life's amazes me. I wonder if I could actually formulate a response that does the answer justice. I wonder if I would be courageous enough to give the honest response which reflects my faith. And I am forever thankful for the examples of joy I have in my own life.

 

This summer I was reminded of joy everyday with every interaction I had with my Aunt Carol. I stayed with her in the family summer home. She has the personality and appearance of Rachel Ray, the determination of Jackie Robinson, and the heart of Mother Teresa.... and she just so happens to be MY aunt. Here we are together... And cousin Jake makes a cameo appearance.

 

 One night at the dinner table I asked her where does her joy came from. She did not answer my right away. Instead she got onto her phone to text her husband, who was not so lucky and was not vacationing with us on the Cape at the time, if he could find the wedding present my grandmother gave them years ago. At first I was so confused why that was necessary and also worried if I offended her by asking. She is a woman who usually loves to share her opinion and thoughts right away and she hesitated this time...

 

Carol continued to describe the present my grandmother gave them for the wedding. Pretty much it was a simple decoration for the home that reminds them how important it is to find JOY in the married life. It was kind of amazing how fast my aunt could make this connection between a gift that was given 21 years ago to a simple conversation over some wine and cheese. But to me, it was so much more. It was one more connection I have with my grandmother who I cannot remember but, who I feel like I intimately know even though it has been 19 years since her passing. 

 

Joy did not just become a characteristic I thought about or admired in my beautiful Aunt Carol. Joy became a connection to my grandmother. When I felt joy I thought of her. And when I CHOSE joy I felt as if I was doing an action to honor her.

 

This has all been a learning experience- a lesson in what joy is but, also about my relationship with my grandmother, and my own happiness. 

 

With the craziness of the second semester senior year, I have started to loose track of that. Luckily I noticed this change and decided I needed a daily reminder of why I do the things I do and who I am blessed to get to know along the way. So as a practical daily reminder that takes absolutely no work, I change the lock screen on my cell phone to this....

 

This happened maybe 3 days ago and today I had the chance to make some time and Skype my twin, my friend, my little sister, my love, Angela, who is studying abroad in Spain this semester. Being the corny girls we are, who are always looking for a good quote or motivational thought... I showed her my phone back ground.

She laughed as her typical silly self and then two seconds later she held up her phone. This is what I saw on my computer screen. 

 

 

It was like that Parent Trap magical moment when the twins both realize they like Oreos and peanut butter as a snack... BUT BETTER!

 

Being my good friend and a source of joy in my life, Angela, has heard my thoughts on the importance of joy and how it all started with the conversation with my Aunt about Grandma Flo. Of course this made my heart smile and I told the story again for her to hear. 

 

Today was a reminder of the significance my grandmother has on my heart and my actions. Today was a reminder of the glimpses of joy I see in inspiring people like Carol and Angela. And today was a reminder that God is who gives me my joy and my faith is a way to spread the joy. 

 

May the joy of Florence be forever remembered.

And may the joy of God be forever sought.

Number One Fan

Look at this gent. He is the man of all men. The most expensive Cuban cigar out of the box. The sharpest politician out of all the studs on the Hill. 

Sass and sarcasm are what he is made of.  The complementary Conan to my fiesty Fallon. My number one protector and my number one entertainer. 

He is part time impressionist and part time Nike shoe model. The giant to my peach.  

The Elsa to my Anna. The best friend a gal could ask for. 

Look at him. He even named an event after me. His dedication to the nug life got him his own post.

Meet Anthony. One of the coolest chicos ever.

Que tu sabes, amigos. 

A Valentine's Day for the Books

Like many families, my parents, brother, and future sister-in-law and I share a texting thread to update each other on our lives. First thing I woke up to this morning was a precious text message from the most beautiful woman in the world, my mom! Speaking my love language and reminding me of exactly what I needed to hear- Nance did it again and melted my heart. 

My brother’s fiancé, Maura, responded with her and my brother’s plans for Valentine’s Day. Of course that was precious as well. You would think as the single little sister I would be bummed and go into the Valentine’s Day blues but NOT me. No way- because I spent this romantic holiday with my best friend and 12 other couples at a Lamaze birthing class. Here are pictures to prove it and show you my favorite part… the birthing ball. 

 

It was the greatest 6 hours of relaxing deep breathing exercises and unbelievable stress relieving massages. It was a pretty great afternoon learning about the miracle of life. I suggest you try it. Maybe next Valentine’s Day?

 

Even though not a typical Valentine’s Day, it was just another day in the life of a nug, filled with spontaneous hilarities of life.

 

St. Valentine.  Pray for us.

A HopeFUL romantic

This has been a long time coming. I have not written since the beginning of summer. I have wanted to write but I did not know what about.  Now I realize it was because I wasn’t really sure of anything. I have been in limbo for a long time, until this evening.

Back story:  Two things have been on my mind for a long time now, ever since the middle of summer. One of them has been the Be Satisfied Prayer of St. Anthony of Padua. This prayer has taught me a lot about having a relationship with Christ before a relationship with others.  Below are the parts of the prayer that sticks out the most to me.

“Just keep looking off and away up to Me,

Or you'll miss what I want to show you.”

“You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things.

Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am.”

 The second quote that has been on my mind a lot is this from this random movie called The English Patient.  This may not be perfectly right but it went a little something like this- a man’s friend asks him how his wife came to fall in love with him and the response was…

“She was always crying on my shoulder about her other loves. And then finally she learned to fall in love with my shoulder.”

You may call me sappy because I love things like this, but I call myself a hopeFUL romantic and think it’s possible to find a love like this one day with God and with a man.

 

Changing gears- This semester has been a difficult one. I have been doing a lot of personal growth and I have been trying to learn as much as I can from the people around me. However, finding answers and feeling fulfilled has not really been a result. 

But tonight at Mass, that changed a little bit. Mass was so great and it hasn't been great in a while. My prayer was everywhere- about the future, about the now, about my insecurities, about boys, about my inadequacies, about my blessings, and my joys. One of those fleeting thoughts was about how I love the Be Satisfied Prayer especially the lines I mentioned above.  But want to know what…? I have very rarely been looking up while at mass. I am so focused on trying to get into prayer that I am not looking at the most tangible thing in the whole room, the Crucifix. 

I looked up for a moment then looked back down and skipped to the second quote- the one about the crying shoulder. I thought about my frustrations with the different shoulders in my life. I repeated that quote in my head as I looked back up to refocus. I looked up at the Crucifix. I was complaining to Christ. I was crying on His shoulder in that moment.... then it hit me. I keep going to cry on Christ’s shoulder but I have not been recognizing why. I have just been thinking it’s enough that I go to Him when in reality it’s because I have been in love with Him all along. After that moment I was completely romanced and in love all over again with the sacrifice and awesomeness of Christ.

 

Maybe this is me being a hopeFUL romantic in prayer. Maybe this is me praying that this lesson will bear fruit in all of my interactions with others. Or maybe this is me just wanting to sing to the rooftops about what it is like to fall in love… via blog post.  Maybe I am writing this so I don’t forget that it happened. Or maybe the message of Saint Anthony’s prayer is not just being thought about but is being lived out. Or maybe I’m trying to convince you that we need to stop looking around us so desperately to fall in love when the other option is to look up.

 

Peace and blessings.

Your Nug,

Shannon

Heaven Is For Real

This past week I spent time with family in Colorado. I could easily write about my adventures of standing in waterfalls, hiking canyons, or swimming in a pool that makes you feel like you could fall off the top of the mountain. But, believe it or not something much cooler happened on this trip of a lifetime. I learned about my 8 year old cousin Baron's faith life. 

Baron, we call him Bear for short, is the wittiest kid you have ever met. He is a little small for his age and totes qualifies as a Nug. He loves dinosaurs. He loves sugar. He loves to cuddle. And his perfect date would consist of switching back and forth from the pool to the trampoline while making up games with a football.  

Bear is a tough guy. He only likes tom girls. He likes getting dirty. But he is not so secretly the sweetest, most sensitive soul I have ever met. This is the gent I speak so highly of.

One day we went for a hike at Dominguez Canyon. It was a long adventure but along the way we saw lizards, threw rocks off of rickety bridges, pretended we were cowboys, and swam in a creek. After the long morning of adventure, Bear was loosing energy so I walked slowly with him and intermittently gave him piggy back rides or carried him up on my shoulders. 

Here is a snip it of the dynamic duo:

When he was on his own two feet walking next to me we had some pretty fun chats. One topic was about his favorite books to read before bed. He mentioned a few dinosaur books, another one about a park ranger, and obviously as a true Colorado boy, there was a book about the Bronco's.

Then Baron said "I read from my children's bible by myself sometimes. And let me tell you. I believe in God, Jesus, and Heaven!"

I was taken back by his honesty and excitement.  I wanted to ask him all about it. When he prays, what does he see? What does he picture Heaven to be like? What makes him want to read the Children's Bible the nights he chooses to do so? 

Even though I was all for this conversation, I also knew he was exhausted, so I decided to meet him where he was at. 

I responded with "Me too, Baron."

I gave him a second and then said "I like many stories from the Bible. They help me a lot. Do you have a favorite story?"

Innocent Bear immediately got back to me with an answer. "The creation story. You know, with the animals and Adam and Eve." He summed up the whole thing for me, followed by "I know he is bad and he is kind of the devil. So I don't like the serpent. But I like that there is a snake in the story." 

I loved his answer and could not help but laugh and then ask him a few other little things. 

The next day he stopped by the Hotel my family was staying at. He jumped on my bed then stopped and pointed out the window. 

He said with his little manly voice "oh cool dude, that is my favorite building. You have the best view ever!"

Bear was pointing at the Catholic Church across the way.

He said, "that is the Church."

"I feel happy whenever I see it."

Both these conversations were quick and could easily be overlooked but, to me, they were utterly inspiring and just the little push I needed in my own prayer life. 

Childlike faith- what I aspire to have.

Childlike faith- Baron has it.

Childlike faith- something we all can learn from.

Baron, was the perfect reminder of the radical dependence we all ought to have in God. Even more so, he was the best example of allowing God to be a part of our lives and trusting Him with no bounds and doing do so with nothing but joy and excitement in our hearts.

Bear's, childlike love and sweet simplicity was a gentle reminder of Christ's presence in my life and I hope his awe in God can do the same for you! 

You-Hoo Big Summer Blow Out

If you have ever seen frozen, you have seen this character.

Chances are you immediately started laughing and could not handle the hilariousness of his hospitality, fun, and once of sass. 

My friends and especially myself love this character.  In fact, we often yell  "you-hoo" to greet each other or just to give one another a smile. This road trip was also named "Shannon and Rob's Big Summer Blow Out!"

Here are some snap chats of the adventure that went well:

After a few hours of travel, three episodes of car sickness, a quick change, and getting real comfortable with each other, Rob and I finally get to beautiful state of NJ to pick up Peter. The GPS said we were at our destination, which is when Rob and I looked at each other with concern. The following moment I was on the phone with Peter asking "are we picking you up under a bridge?" 

Luckily no. Even better at a creepy hotel under a bridge. 

Greeted with NJ bagels and hugs. And then the road trip continued! Stopped to pick up Hannah in Pennsylvania. Then finally arrived in DC. 

In DC life was filled games, ice cream, and with the most beautiful surprises!

First surprise... Joe, the best partner in crime, and I visited Julie, the most beautiful role model in my life, at her business school graduation and even managed to chronicle the event with a selfie.

Second surprise... After dinner to celebrate Rob's 21st we walked back to the metro and ran into some people we know. The Dominicans and some Sisters singing on the streets of Chinatown

Then came Kate. A friend from mental health clinical. We always said how we wanted to get together and share a bottle of wine once I was 21. Somehow she just happened to be at the bar the night of my 21st birthday!

This surprise may be one of the best!!! This is Kat! A dear friend who has been abroad all semester in Rome. And I just happened to find her in the Caldwell parking lot on my birthday! Reunited at last! All the random weird emails to each other were now in person hugs and jokes! So blessed to have her in my life.

With a little free time made my way over to the Basillica, where I am always surprised by something. This is usually one of my favorites, but on this day it was extra amazing. Little surprise from above, I think.

The visit concluded with hanging by a fire and learning a little bit more about these people, a night I will always remember, but it starts to get a little "hazy" once the game of King's began. 

And a few last bear hugs from Amanda, the girl who helped me get through another year of nursing school and my first year of ministry. She loves me even though I don't like sleep overs. And she even let's me do 90% of the talking when studying. Forever my fashionista. 

And on the road trip home there were a few surprises in Philly (which I still do not know how to spell).

Fish counters in a really cool market.

Independence Hall. Yeah that's it behind us! Please pardon my obnoxious "excited face"

And love park! 

So many cool adventures, but what made the road trip and visit to DC the most fun were the people I spent it with. It was filled with the perfect amount of hospitality, fun, and sass just like the silly man from Frozen. But I have to say Olaf always wins with "some people are worth melting for" and all the people I met and and all the people who I spent the weekend with made one big puddle in my summer!